This season I learned a few key things. My thoughts are more serious, and although this spring has not felt like spring, it has been a season of consideration.
- I do not need to crowdsource my life. I oftentimes like to “poll the audience” so to speak and then take the average of the crowd when it comes to making life decisions. This comes more from a place of doubt and I have realized that I can trust my own instincts rather than just asking the people around me.
- I do not have to be labeled and shoved into a box. Labels are only so helpful, they do not cover it all. Placing myself in a box that I do not fit into is not helpful. It stifles.
- Busy-ness comes at a cost. I frequently like to be busy but I am starting to realize that using all the energy to be busy comes at a cost, to my health or sanity or both. Sometimes I need to admit I cannot do it and be willing to do less, but be healthier.
- Slow changes are more likely to be sustainable. I like to do it all at once, to start everything and expect changes tomorrow. I am slowly understanding that baby steps help and life is not linear. We experience each moment and being present is important, not just focusing on the future.
- A strong reason makes doing challenging things easier. Viktor Frankl once said, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.” I am finding that to be particularly true this season. Having a reason and keeping it in mind can motivate me to do challenging things.
- I can enjoy my life just as it is. This season I started to relish where I am. I am loving my life, I am enjoying how things are and I do not have to feel guilty about that. Also it shows me that the circumstance do not determine your joy, it is our choices and our mindset that determine it.
- There is no “right” way, just many ways that are right for different people. I am someone who struggles with seeing the many sides and I am constantly seeking the right thing. I have realized the idea that there is a right thing is flawed. No people are the same and therefore there is no one right thing that is right for everyone. We get to explore life and find what works for us.
- I love to read about tragedy. This is not new but I have recently realized what that means. I have a lot of feelings about this that I will discuss later.
- Changing the narrative changes everything. In finding more joy in my life I have come to realize how large the role of narrative is in our minds. We create whole narratives around others and I have the ability to change my narrative, both about myself and about others. Brene Brown discusses giving people the most generous benefit of the doubt. I sometimes struggle with this, but recognizing that I can change it has allowed me to be more compassionate and accepting rather than defensive towards others.