Musings on Life

The Art of the Conversation 

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I’m a big talker. I love speaking with others. I love connecting and learning and thinking in conjunction with others. As we become more gadget-ed up, it seems that conversing is getting lost. We feel the pull to be plugged in, to know it all, to be aware and correct and informed about all things. I myself have been guilty of googling a fact or many. The more we do this though the less connected we are to those around us, we look at our phones rather than the people we are talking to, we dump rather than converse. We say all our things rather than wanting to learn from those around us and we doubt rather than trusting their knowledge. I find it hard when our goal is to be the most right person in the room, we lose our ability to consider others. We are so busy planning and thinking how we can respond and dominate the conversation. We lose true connection. 

When having a conversation it is important to listen to the other person almost more than we talk, to realize when they ask us a question it usually has more to do with where they are coming from, their thoughts and themselves that it does to do with us. We benefit from a true back and forth and I have found the more I listen the more people have to say. They have stories to share and things to do. We do not take time to share and hear and listen. We start to assume we know what someone else will say and we resort to competing monologues.

We also imitate each other quite a lot. I notice when I am around people on their phones, I am more likely to take mine out and follow suit. I need to be reminded to stay the course, to do what I know is right and not to hide in my technology but to be present with the people I am with. Our time is precious, we are not guaranteed one more second, we lose our time by planning and focusing and being distracted, but we can never get this moment back. I want to take back the conversation, to take back quality time. I want us to really spend time hearing each other, not just commenting our preconceived thought. I care about our humanity and staying connected. I love spending time with friends and enjoying discussions, where we are not sure how it will end, where we are not entrenched in our opinions, where we are willing to learn and see each other for who we are. I think our lives and our ability to connect is worth more than our achievement or our productivity. I am all for conversing and it is time for me to put down the phone and see the moment for what it is, fleeting, precious and here.

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