About, Musings on Life

When I Feel Most Like Me

Cue this song.

I am feeling like I am truly coming into my own. The past few years I have shed a lot of the weight of being who others wanted me to be and now I feel like I can articulate the many things that make me feel like myself. If you are not sure what these things are for you, I would suggest you look at how you spend your time, and figure out what are the things that after you have done them you have no regrets, you feel that was time well spent.

I have found that recently my life has been cultivated in a way that means I spend most of my days doing things that feel like me. I realize as I type those words how very privileged I am. I am grateful to my husband who allows me to not earn an income. I am grateful that we have adjusted life to be a way that makes me feel good.

I feel most like myself when I am doing those things I love cooking, baking, yoga, movement, reading, creating, meditating, writing, researching, learning, and having deep conversations. I feel alive and aware and alert. I love those parts of my life and I never feel like time spent in those pursuits is wasted.

A woman with eyes wide and a smirk.
Fun, just being me.

I have other things I enjoy, I enjoy singing for example, but I find there to be a bit more pressure and exertion. It does not make me feel most like myself.

I think one of the goals of life is to find a way to what makes you come alive and find a way to do those things as much as possible. I find for me when I am doing things that engage me, I become fully absorbed unsure where the time goes and I am fully present. Those moments are pure glory. I think when we each endeavor to do what we love we make the world a better place even if it seems small, my love for bread makes a difference. My joy in cooking and baking brings joy to others. Not only those who eat my food, but also those who see me and notice how happy and fulfilled I am. My job in life is to do the best to be myself and to bring joy to myself and others. I lead by example in certain realms, but I can honestly I do what I love everyday. When I am on vacation, I still meditate, write, exercise, and do yoga. I choose to do the same things I do daily on vacation, because they do not seem like chores, but they are just an essential part of who I am and by doing them I feel more myself and more ready to be present with others.


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